-x- Driftiiing Away -x-

You are full of energy. You are spirited and boisterous.

You are bold and daring. You are willing to do some pretty outrageous things.

Your high energy sometimes gets you in trouble. You can have a pretty bad temper at times.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.

You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.

At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are fair, honest, and logical. You are a natural leader, and people respect you.

You never give up, and you will succeed... even if it takes you a hundred tries.

You are rational enough to see every part of a problem. You are great at giving other people advice.

You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.

You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.

At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

Apr. 6th, 2008

10:00 PM

You Are a Crossword Puzzle

You are well read, and you have a good head for remembering facts.

You are a wordsmith. You have a way with words, and you're very literate.

You are a mysterious person who enjoys dropping little clues every now and then.

What Kind of Puzzle Are You?

Nov. 18th, 2007

8:58 PM

Sep. 8th, 2006

8:59 PM

Jul. 17th, 2006

1:37 AM

"Ya know," he says, straddling a wooden chair backwardsand hugging the back that pressed against his chest. "I used to smoke alot." He looks into my face. I glance up and realize I believe him. His face is very tanned, but wrinkled as hell. So wrinkled it would be an artist's dream. An artist would love to draw that face. I should know, I tend to surround myself with artists. Maybe it's because I like to have such talented friends to compensate for the fact I, myself, lack the ability to draw even a straight line. His face was filled with lines. His eyebrows, once dark in colour I can tell, were now grey and not on purpose fell into a deep furrow, darkening his light eyes. He looks like he's squinting at me. The lines on his forehead are deep and wide. The lines on his cheeks curve downwards, tugging his lips with gravity and makes him look like he's scowling at me. The wrinkles around his lips are his giveaway. The lines are vertical and closely spaced. He stares at me steadily. "What are you looking at?" He seems to be thinking.
I don't do anything but nod to his statement.
"I used to smoke alot, girlie. I smoked, smoked and smoked. I started smoking when I was eight, but I had been borrowing my daddy's cigar long, long time before. When I was eight, he says it was time for me to start smoking. Country family, you understand." I nod again. "I started on cigars. It was what my daddy had. Could barely handle them." He chuckles, smiling slightly and the lines around his mouth deepened momentarily before melting into his frown again. His voice is raspy. "Momma suggested I try cigarettes. Daddy went out and bought 'em. They were smaller. Could deal with 'em much better. So cigarettes it was that I smoked. All throughout me boyhood years I smoked. I don't know if you know, girlie, but there wasn't no laws about age limits for smoking or whatever bullshit they have right now. Eighteen to be able to buy cigarettes? What difference is that going to make? If the law has connections and ways, kids will always have connections and ways." He muttered angrily, shaking his head.
"I'm not saying I'm in favor of it now, girlie, I don't got much to live. Back then there was no laws. I could go out and buy 'em when I was about twelve. Shopkeeper knew my daddy. Knew I smoked too. Everyone knew. Never mattered once. A decade later, cocaine would be legal. You could buy it in packets at the drugstore. Doctors told you it was good for you. Two decades ago, the law let up its alcohol prohibition law. You learned about it in school, girlie? That whiskey prohibition bullshit they tried to pull on us. Those damn Christians and women pushed for it. Was no better. Made it worse for everyone, anyway." He nodded, staring off in space for a while. It was when I tried to take a drink from my Dr. Pepper bottle that he noticed me again and realized his whereabouts.
"I smoked and smoked. I would smoke anything I could afford. Marlboros, Camels, these cheap Pall Malls, whatever. If it had nicotine and tar in it, hell, I'd smoke it. I never chewed though. Didn't see the point in it. My daddy stopped using cigars and went to tobacco. I didn't. I liked inhaling and blowing smoke. It was more amusing. I was what, fifteen when I decided that I'd always stick to things I could inhale and blow out. Tobacco didn't make sense to me. You chewed it and spat it out. Sometimes you might swallow it. It didn't give me the same effect as smoking it did. It was more bad for you. Mm-hmm." He nodded with finality and his frowning lines crooked even deeper as he concentrated on his memories.
"Twenty years old, I could barely go two hours without smoking at least once. My addiction got that bad, girlie. I had been smoking for twelve years by now. A pack or two a day. But it was allright. You could smoke everywhere. Nowadays you can barely smoke inside anywhere and lots of places make you smoke in a designated area. Designated area, my ass." He scoffed and his wrinkled skin smoothed and compacted back with the movement. "Smoke gets in the air and gets everywhere. I coulda be smokin' a mile away from you and you'd inhale it about two minutes later, girlie."
"Anyway, when I was thirty, never noticed but my habit got worse and worse. Went from two packs a day to three. When I was fifty, I smoked about a carton a day. I gave up a lot of things that you had to use money for 'cause I needed the money for the cartons I bought everyday. Instead of saving up and putting away money for the clothes or food, I saved up and put away money for cigarettes that I'd buy next week. I spent that money in about three days." He smacked his lips and sighed.
"Sixty, my doctor told me I only had ten years to live. No surprise to you, girlie, and shouldn't have been a surprise to me but it was. I knew nothing about how bad nicotine and cyanide for you was. Only thought tobacco was bad. Turns out cigarettes were just as bad. Heh!" He chuckled roughly. "Lungs were so black and half filled with tar. I knew he was right when I saw them x-rays. No wonder I coughed all day. He said I gotta stop. I gotta quit."
"Quit!" He spat on the cement and chewed on the inside of his cheek. I imagined that if he had a cigarette or something in his mouth, he would have been rolling it around with his tongue. "How could I quit with something that was part of me just as livin' was? Tell me, girlie. How could I quit? Can you quit breathing 'cause it's just not good for you anymore?" He squinted at me. I shook my head quietly.
"Hell no, you couldn't." He said with finality.
"I can't say I didn't try. If I didn't try, I wouldn't be here talkin' to you, girl. Or I'd be here with four packs all piled up next to me." He said, gesturing with his hands four imaginary piles in front of him. His hand that he showed was just as wrinkled and stained a dark orange. The nails were rough, bitten and dirty.
"Tried lots and lots of times. Failed lots and lots of time. Tried everything they said could help you. Them patches. Them gum. Fuckin' gum!" He said gruffly. "Didn't work a shit. Anyway, hypnosis, acupuncture, you name it, I've tried it. Anyway. I quit. I haven't smoked in eight years.Wanted to live." He said shrugging, scratching his stubble that grew in between the wrinkles on his jaws with his bitten fingernails.
"I found me a way. Yep. Sure did.I make 'em myself. Takes thirty minutes or so whittlin' them to perfection. Takes me a couple of hours to make four. It wastes time, sure enough. They don't taste like anything. They taste like hickory but do no damage to my lungs." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a thin wooden stick. It had been whittled into the shape of a cigarette. He held the designated butt in between two of his brown wrinkled fingers and with the other hand, lit the stick. He inhaled it.
"I smoke these now."

Jun. 17th, 2006

8:26 PM

--RIGHT NOW--
are you cold?: no
are you hot?: yes
is your hair up?: pulled back- not up (what Ashley said)
are your shoes black?: No shoes right now. But, no. I don't own any black shoes except my boots.
are you wearing pajamas?: No
is your phone right beside you?: No. It's in my room.
are you watching tv?: Kind of. I look up every now and then.
are you mad at someone/something?: Kind of
do you have a boyfriend?: No. XD
are you wearing makeup?: Nah.
are you wearing chapstick?: No
do you have plans for tonight?: No
are you tired?: yeah
are you excited?: No. Except to finally be able to screencap POTC

-- RANDOM --
whens the last time you were kissed?: Today
whens the last time you ate?: Umm... Dinner. Around seven?? x.x
is your bed comfy?: It used to be but I keep waking up with backache now. -.-
is your phone on vibrate?: Yes
whats the 2nd letter of your first name?: E
whats the last thing you said?: I wonder how much the tickets there cost, then yay!
whens the last time you laughed?: hmm... I dunno.
alive?: Yeah?
do you want ice cream?: Just had some.
Have you ever kissed in the rain?: I think so

-- PAST --
done anything you regret?: Sure.
ever broke a bone?: Not yet
ever lied?: Compulsive liar here.
ever stuck gum under a desk?: Yes
ever spit at someone?: I'm not sure
ever kick something living?: Yeah. I've kicked someone in the head before.
ever trip over your own feet?: Yep.
ever had your nails done?: No
ever picked a scab?: Yeah?
ever smoked a cigarette?: Nah.
ever drank alcohol?: Yes
ever passed OUT from alcohol?: No
ever had a hangover?: Not really
ever thrown up b/c u cried so hard?: I doubt it
ever wished you would die?: when you feel like your rotting inside, you feel like you are dying (Well said Ashley)

--NEXT WEEK--
have any plans for next week?: Hmm.... Don't think so.
do you know what youre gonna wear next week?: No. I don't care to know.
anything exciting happening next week?: we'll see
got anywhere to go next week?: that would be referred to as plans, I believe
know who youre going to see next week?: people of the many nations!
excited for next week to come?: UH.
DREADING next week to come?: no...but definately not excited either...

--TODAY--
have you yelled at someone?: Don't think so
have you gotten mad at someone?: Yes
have you cried?: No.
have you called more then 3 people?: No...
have you IMd more than 3 people?: Exactly three people.
have you updated your myspace?: No
have you taken a shower?: No xD
have you shaved your legs?: No
have you had something good or bad happen?: Yes. The damn converses. ><

--YESTERDAY--
have you yelled at someone?: I don't think so
have you gotten mad at someone?: No
have you cried?: Yes. Where the Red Fern Grows. :(
have you called more then 3 people?: No
have you IMd more than 3 people?: Maybe
have you updated your myspace?: No
have you taken a shower?: No
have you shaved your legs?: No
have you had something good or bad happen?: Nah. Nothing.

Jun. 11th, 2006

4:22 PM

Your Dosha is Pitta

You have a quick mind, a gift for persuasion, and a sharp sense of humor.
You have both the drive and people skills to be a very successful leader.
Argumentative and a bit stubborn, you have been known to be a little too set in your ways.
But while you may be biased toward your own point of view, you are always honest, fair, and ethical.

With friends: You are outgoing and open to anyone who might want to talk to you

In love: You are picky but passionate

To achieve more balance: Be less judgmental of those around you, and take cool walks in the moonlight.

What's Your Dosha?

May. 15th, 2006

8:43 AM

I'm like the worst procrasinator ever. I have a 8 page research paper due ummmm.... this Thursday and I haven't even started.
Psssh. I think I'm going to kick my own ass and then finish catching up with AP US History and Algebra then worry about the research paper all night tomorrow.

I know, could have done it last weekend 'cause I didn't even go out of the house.
Oh well.

And you know, I'm just lying to myself. I'll probably not even do any work tonight.

#73

Feb. 28th, 2006 at 1:44 PM

I'm alive, I am. But just barely clinging on.

Sorry I'm not around even though I know I'm basically apologizing to a nonexistental audience, but hey.

Feb. 9th, 2006

1:32 PM

Yeah, I'm 16 today.